Oh Riders. You are so done. Done, done done. Officially done.
And in mourning for the loss of this season – a huge waste of a season – I offer you the following poem/song not written by me (it’s supposed to be sung to the tune of ‘Let It Go’ from ‘Frozen’, but it doesn’t really flow all that well):
The gopher’s eyes turn white with a loss tonight
Not a playoff hope to be seen.
Receivers covered in isolation
The whole season’s been a bad dream.
The wind is howling, like the Canucks fans outside;
Couldn’t find the endzone, we barely even tried.
Don’t let them in, don’t let them score
Cant afford to give up points any more.
Get real, and steal, just steal the ball
That’s a bullsh*t call!
Let it go, let it go! Can’t make the playoffs any more!
Let it go, let it go! Throw the TV out the door!
I don’t care if we lose today!
Let Calgary stampede on.
Our O-line couldn’t stop them anyway. . .
Let’s take a look at everything else that happened this past weekend in the CFL – mostly in pictorial form.
MONTREAL AT OTTAWA
That should tell you everything you need to know about what’s wrong with the Angry Birds this season.
As for the RODBLACKS, I’m predicting that the RODBLACKS are going to be in the East Final and Henry Boo-ris is going to be the CFL’s Most Outstanding Player.
Boo-ris had a phenomenal game on Thursday night, going 45/53 for 502 passing yards and two TDs. His 45 completions set a new CFL record, passing the legend himself, Anthony Calvillo.
Serendipitously, Calvillo was on the opposite sideline. And he probably wasn’t too happy.
Meanwhile, Nik Lewis made this poor little baby cry:
All in all, it was not a good night for the Alouettes. The RODBLACKS, though? They partied:
Even the RODBLACKS’ cousins, the SENATORS (I think every Ottawa team should be capitalized for the sake of consistency) were impressed:
Final: Montreal 17, Ottawa 39
CALGARY AT HAMILTON
Somebody Mathews (Jeff?) wasn’t too shabby in his first CFL start. He gave the Stumps a run for their money, but the loss of a down within the last three minutes of the game helped seal the Kitty Cats’ fate.
This look from Grumpy Kent pretty much sums it up:
Final: Calgary 23, Hamilton 20
EDMONTON AT WINNIPEG
It was an important game for MATTY ICE and his Bumblers. MATTY ICE had a chance to tie a record of sorts:
Only in the CFL, I tell ya!
The Bumblers could’ve won this game. And they should’ve. But they’re the Bumblers.
It directly led to this:
And for Bumbler fans, this:
Final: Edmonton 24, Winnipeg 23
SASKATCHEWAN AT BC
Oh. My. Goodness.
It was that bad. It was absolutely ridiculous. The Riders literally fell apart.
And the Cowardly Lions? They looked like world beaters. And they were pretty proud of themselves, too:
Final: Saskatchewan 20, BC 46